Submissive Training Handbook – Introduction

23 Things You Must Know About How To Be A Submissive. A Must Read For Any Woman In A BDSM Relationship


At the point you begin training as a submissive partner or slave, you have already taken a number of foundational steps along this journey. Hopefully you have identified your submissive inner nature and taken some time to explore the meaning submitting to another person has in your life.

Most women look at blogs, books or fetish sites to learn the language, expectations and general way-of-life submissive women experience. However, nothing will prepare you for a life of submission in the same way as your formal training. Training isn’t just a “good idea” when it comes to creating a BDSM relationship. It is essential. Rushing into a relationship or service contract with a Dom without training puts the future of your time together at risk. All of the arguments, resistance, misunderstandings and hurt feelings that go with a new submissive’s experiences can be eradicated by a period designated for learning, listening, trial and error.

Even if you have been with a previous Dom you will need to go through an abbreviated training time to ensure your patterns and understandings match one another. Training is a way to “get in the same rhythm” and find the perfect groove. Couples who have previously experienced submission via email or a long distance relationship require as much training as a new arrangement. Talking about serving is much different than actually experiencing a submissive’s life. There is a lot more downtime, accountability, and exhaustion than anything you will experience online.

This guide is designed to help you know what to expect when you go through training with a new Dom. Every couple is unique and every Dom may have different ways of teaching you the systems of service he prefers. However, these are the basics all trained subs and slaves learn and employ in daily life. A slave and a sub are different in technical aspects, yet they are similar
enough in their service that this guide will cover features for both and the words may be used interchangeably.

This guide has also been written to assume a 24/7 living situation for the Dom and sub. If you do not live with your Dom you’ll find these same elements can be employed on a weekend or session basis just as easily. Although training does not lend itself to online Doms or virtual slavery, the thoughts and motivations behind the elements of training will still be useful as you construct your relationship.

This guide is divided into two sections:

1. What you will learn.
2. How you will learn it.

Finally, a note about protocol. There are a variety of levels of protocol depending on the couple practicing BDSM and their living situation. A couple may be a 24/7 high protocol couple where nudity, formality of language, and ritual is practiced at all times. Likewise, a couple with children who enjoys BDSM on a session or “when the kids are at school” basis may use informal protocol for daily life (always showing respect, but not wearing a collar) and employ higher protocol when they are alone.

Because training often aims at the highest standard of expectation, this guide is written with medium-high protocol in mind. It is always best to train with the highest protocol possible. It is easier to train for a lot then be allowed to do less, than be trained for a little and be expected to do more.